Aces, Jacks, man with the axe.
Pair of natural sevens takes all.
Aces cracked, man on the rail.
Should've sent the check in the mail.
Made hand, with five to come.
Sounds sexual to some.
Hassan Habib!!!
Out in fourteenth.
2nd verse, same as the first!
Put it to a melody, and you might have music. Or, the musings of a cracked mind, almost like my aces....
72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Poker Rap inspired by, The #WSOP
Written by
Batman
at
11:34 AM
1 comments
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Poker to Protect Kids!
More details; One optional rebuy of an additional $100, starts at 430pm in Irvine, CA. Directions and location available at the registration link. Dinner included. Oh, bring your own cigars!!!
Written by
Batman
at
10:32 PM
0
comments
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Open Letter to Phil Hellmuth Jr.
Phil,
Mind if I call you Phil? I feel like we know each other, although, you probably don't remember the two times we've actually met, as we didn't talk or shake hands. Trust me, they did occur, once on the set of Lucky You, and once after you'd finished filming a promo at Hollywood Park Casino. My guess is your public persona is such that you don't want to be approached by poker neophytes like me, and in these two cases, it worked. It won't happen a 3rd time, trust me.
I've recently had the privilege of watching your alleged meltdown when you placed 6th at the WPT Bay 101 Shooting Stars tourney. That's been reported elsewhere, to the point where no one less than Tony G is concerned for your mental health. Well, he's wrong, so, I won't give him the privilege of a link from my blog, however, I want you to watch the following, from your site:
Your contention that you're no longer The Poker Brat in the aforementioned broadcast falls on deaf ears, Phil. Otherwise, you would've taken your own advice which I just provided to you, in case you've forgotten. I didn't see any of that Tuesday. You must understand while you believe yourself to be the best poker player of all time, and if it weren't for luck you'd win every hand, that it's simply not true. At least, on that day. You kept spouting off about how you're going to get the chip leader the next time you went up against him, however, your reads were off, your assumptions were incorrect, AND you were playing inferior hands. To me, the casual observer, you were the same you've always been, and will continue to be, until you take your own advice.
Whomever you're taking whatever style of martial arts you're studying from, does not understand you. Otherwise, you would realize these things I've pointed out yourself. My goal is one day to come up against you, maybe even at a final table, and take all that I've learned from you, and use it against you. Your goal should be to make sure this doesn't happen. Although, it does make for great TV, as we've seen.
Oh, for the rest of you, and maybe even you too, Phil, adjust your expectations accordingly, and as always, please, retweet.
Written by
Batman
at
12:10 PM
0
comments
Monday, October 12, 2009
This is a Job For, Captain Table!!!
We've all been there. It's the middle of the tournament, chip stack sizes are changing at a moment's notice, people busting out around you left and right, and then you come upon a hand with five way action, and three side pots. What do you do?
You don't do anything, because at this point, Captain Table comes to the rescue.
Now, I know that the term is table captain, however, the superhero analogy was just too good to pass up. For those of you that haven't heard the term before, the table captain is the one that makes sure everything is going on according to the rules and regulations of the casino you're playing at. Problem is, I thought this was the dealer's job.
Another of Captain Table's superpowers, is his ability to teach you how to play, while playing himself. One example of this came up last month, when I went all in pre flop with a pair of sixes. I had one caller move all in before him, and after he thought for what seemed like an eternity, he finally called. I showed my pair of sixes, the other all in guy had QJo, and he had JT suited. He looks at me and says, "You don't go all in with a pair of sixes." There are several witty responses here, so naturally, my brain went into overload, and I couldn't come up with the best one. So I let the cards speak for me, when they held up. This may have cost me an investor in my filmmaking company, however, that's another story for another time.
I first witnessed Captain Table's powers at a local tournament that I play in frequently. I've spoken of this multi rebuy tournament on several occasions, as I consider the casino it's played at to be my home away from home. So, we're about a third of the way into the current tournament, and I've got a moderately healthy chip stack, which I use to bust out the guy to my right. Moments later, Captain Table swoops in, although, I didn't know it at the time. I guess his Shaq jersey is what thew me off. And it was a Lakers Shaq jersey no less. He landed at our table as the chip leader of the tournament at that point. Furthermore, he had me at about two to one.
This was an important shift for me, actually, as it got me to slow down. Most of you know that I like to play tight, and aggressive at the same time. But in No Limit Tournament play, the possibility of one strike and your out exists, and Captain Table was betting every hand like he had it.
So, I started plotting his downfall. He had taken up his duties faithfully, telling everyone how to play their hands, and more importantly, how they played them incorrectly. Then the following happened: To preface, I was in seat 7, and he was one to my right. The guy in seat ten went all in after I folded and signaled for a porter to get me another large coffee, six creams. By this time, everyone had folded to Captain Table, and he had to think about whether or not to call with pocket aces, and finally let his friend convince him to do so. He muttered something like, "Ok, even though it's not worth it, I could lose and then be out of the tournament." That wasn't going to happen, as he had seat ten covered, by at least five to one. Seat ten showed Big Slick, and moments later after no improvement, got up and shook his hand, having busted out.
This should've made Captain Table ecstatic, however, he was far from it. Continuing to steam because he had to be convinced to call. This is a good thing. For me. I make my move on the very next hand. After the flop, I have the nuts, and he's still in, and checks. I make sure that he's looking directly at me, and say, "If I go all in, were you going to check/raise me?" Yes, I know this is an impossibility, however, I made him talk to me. And he pointed out how he wouldn't be able to raise me if I went all in. This was enough for me, and I pushed, and everyone left in the hand folded, including my new best friend.
He wasn't the same after that. He started losing to everyone else at the table, and this quieted him down considerably. Apparently, Captain Table is vulnerable to premium hands, and aggressive betting. About twenty minutes later, he busted out to the guy on my left, Nick. Maybe I'll tell you about him someday….
In conclusion, what have we learned? As for me, my new motto is, "Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way…" which boils down to, call, raise, or fold. For you, it means, never let anyone else take you out of your game. What Captain Table doesn't understand is, there's more than one way to win, and more often than not, your way to win will not be his.
72 and sunny in Redondo Beach.
Please Retweet.
Written by
Batman
at
9:15 AM
0
comments
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Really Big Poker in October

Or in this case, Big Poker Oktober, as The Bike likes to call it. Started on October 1st, actually. I had the pleasure to play in the “Celebrity-Media Invitational Poker Tournament” held there recently. They celebrated their 25th anniversary with the re opening of the newly refurbished Event Center. Higher ceiling for the tournament players, and a general overall openness that wasn't there before. Sixty tables now fit in the room, and if needed they could put in three or four more. If you've ever played at The Bike in a tournament before and gave up on the location as too outdated, you owe it to yourself to check it out again.
The tourney runs from now through the 18th. Hope to see you there!!!
Written by
Batman
at
6:02 AM
0
comments
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
PLAY WITH THE POKER PRO's and HOLLYWOOD CELEBS
San Fernando Valley Honorary Mayor Nancy Cartwright, “The Voice of Bart Simpson”, and 2006 World Series of Poker Main Event Winner Jamie Gold, host a Charity Poker Tournament and Party at Nancy’s home in Northridge.
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
4:30pm Doors Open
5:00pm Poker Boot Camp by Mary Jones 2006 WSOP Ladies Event Winner
6:00pm Texas Hold ‘em Tournament – 5 hours includes Final Table
$250 includes: Party & buy-in per seat to play with the Poker pros and Celebrities. Party includes: Casino, Open Bar, Gourmet BBQ Dinner & Desserts, Cigar Bar, Martini and Margarita Bars, Valet Parking.
Tournament Prizes
Five Seats in a WSOP Satellite Tournament!
Private Lesson with Annie Duke
Lunch with the WSOP Commissioner
And more
$125 for party entry only. Bring a Friend or Spouse
Complete information about the Tournament and Monte Carlo Night Party including online registration can be found at http://www.devonshire-pals.org/
Seating Limited to 200 players. Reservations Strongly Recommended.
This is a fundraiser for the Devonshire Police Activities League. Forward this information to all your Poker Playing Friends.
If you would like to be a Sponsor or have questions regarding the Poker Tournament email annie@pokercares.com
Poker Pro’s who have played in this Charity Tournament
Pam Brunson – 1st Place Legends of Poker
Todd Brunson - WSOP Bracelet Winner
Barbara Enright – WSOP Bracelet Winner
Sammy Farha - WSOP Bracelet Winner
Jamie Gold – WSOP 2006 Main Event Winner
Jennifer Harman - WSOP Bracelet Winner
Susie Isaacs - WSOP Bracelet Winner
Kenna James – Multi-Tournament Winner
Mary Jones - WSOP 2006 Ladies Event Winner
Men "The Master" Nguyen - WSOP Multi-Bracelet Winner
Van Nguyen - 1st WPT Celebrity Invite
Marco Traniello - Multi-Tournament Winner
Marsha Waggoner - Multi-Tournament Winner
Jerry Yang - WSOP 2007 Main Event Winner
Written by
Batman
at
12:07 PM
0
comments
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Found out something interesting last night...
It turns out there's an I hate Tiffany Michelle group out there, maybe even more than one. And I have to ask, why? What has she ever done to you? Seriously!!! We may very well be in End Times....
Written by
Batman
at
11:27 AM
0
comments
Monday, April 27, 2009
Haven't Done This Here In Awhile...
Image via CrunchBase
Written by
Batman
at
5:03 AM
0
comments
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Recent Successes
Yes, it's true, I still exist :) Why haven't I been posting? It's simple. I've been putting the theories I espouse here and elsewhere to practice, and to that end, I took first twice in row recently at Hollypark. I also made a film in a week, which was almost financed by my winnings. Unfortunately, I hooked up with someone that reneged on promised payments, so, now, I'm back to where I started: Looking for a stake....
Written by
Batman
at
12:56 AM
2
comments
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
A moment of silence...
Much sadness in the land this evening...
6 December 2007
|
Written by
Batman
at
5:59 PM
0
comments
Monday, October 29, 2007
I Don't Know Why This is Taking So Long....
26 October 2007
|
Written by
Batman
at
10:15 PM
0
comments
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Why I Love This Game...
Played almost perfect poker for four hours yesterday, and then made two bad decisions on the same hand, and busted out in 36th place, or, two tables away from the money. It's always amazed me that these things can happen. The need to constantly focus on what you're doing, as well as what is going on around you, is never more apparent than at the late stages of a tournament.
I can justify my bad decisions with simply this, after being chip leader at one table, I was moved to a table where after being card dead for three orbits, as well as being short stacked by this time with the blinds about to go up, I limped in with AJo. First mistake. The second one came when I called the all in of the player two to my right, who ended up with AQ. And I did not improve :(
Ok, so, what have we learned? Limping is for the weak, that's why they call it limping. Being short stacked at this point I had two moves: All in or Fold. And clearly, AJo is not a good starting hand, at least, not this time.
Written by
Batman
at
8:44 PM
0
comments
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Cheating at Absolute Poker
I'm probably coming late to the party commenting about this. However, if I don't mention it, I would be remiss in my post as poker scribe. I was patient and waited for the story to break at Casino Times, before I did. Now it has. There are several rumors as to who the pro is, and since I'm not one to speculate on the truth of those, I'll simply comment on what I believe to be true.
Cheating took place. The situation was rectified by Absolute. The responsible party has been identified. Does this kill online poker? To this, I answer a resounding NO!!!!
Despite what some would have you believe, Online Poker is here to stay. The UIGEA and naysayers notwithstanding. I believe that either the Frank bill will pass, regulating Online Poker in the US, or, the UIGEA will be repealed, or both. Sites that panicked when the UIGEA was passed, are now finding ways to allow US players to play, including Doyle's Room.
Written by
Batman
at
1:37 PM
0
comments
Monday, October 22, 2007
Phil Hellmuth Jr is a...
|
Written by
Batman
at
12:04 PM
0
comments
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The Flawed Premise...
On a recent edition of "The Nuts," during the 2007 WSOP Main Event broadcast, Lon McEachern stated that no matter what you do, eventually, you're going to go on "Tilt."
Wrong!!!
In poker, tilt is defined as a state of mind where logical thinking goes out the window, and you start playing irrationally, eventually donking off all your chips, and eliminating yourself from contention. A lesser state is referred to as steaming. I guess when you lose to a bad beat, your blood starts to boil. Well, not literally.
I've heard that bad beats are a part of the game, and there's really no good way to avoid them, as if you play long enough and hard enough, you'll eventually take a few.
But it should be easy to avoid tilt. Simply don't let the bad beats, inferior plays, or inferior players, get to you. I'm sure everyone's seen video of Phil Hellmuth Jr. melting down after someone sucks out on him. As, it happens so very often. His style of play creates these situations, and yet, he continues to go along as if nothing's wrong.
You think he'd learn....
Written by
Batman
at
12:53 PM
0
comments
Saturday, September 15, 2007
The Rush to Blog
BlogRush!!! Just put it on our site here. Checkout the headlines, click and read if you'd like, and I'll be here when you get back. If you have a blog, feel free to sign up for it as well.
See you around the Blogosphere....
Written by
Batman
at
1:28 PM
0
comments
Monday, September 10, 2007
Still More Poker Education
The road game route to profit
Everyone starts somewhere, and it’s never at the top. If you don’t like the idea of beginning at the bottom and working your way up the poker ladder, let me present the alternative. It’s beginning at the top and working your way down. Now that’s not a pleasant prospect, but I’ve lived enough years to see it happen to young players again and again. Great musicians didn’t begin by picking up a violin, taking a seat in the London Symphony Orchestra within a week, and becoming legends. They need to train. You don’t wake up one day, decide you’d like to run long distances, enter the Boston Marathon at noon, and conquer the world’s best-conditioned athletes. You need to train. You need to experience running, learn when to accelerate and when to cruise, how to finesse, and how to get the most out of yourself. I know. I was a star athlete in college, but I didn’t get that way overnight. I had to start somewhere.
Siphon all the money
At poker, you don’t decide you have a flair for the game, take a seat at the biggest limit table in Las Vegas and siphon all the money away from top pros the first week, remaining a superstar for years. Sure, it’s a fantasy, but it never happened that way. I learned poker on the road along the dusty trails of Texas. There were some great players, and I learned from them. But, I never would have survived without facing weak opponents, too. It took me years before I was ready and my bankroll was suitable for the big games in Las Vegas. I learned on the road. I got better.
I still remember a conversation I had in the sixties with Carl, a proficient player who seemed impressed with my poker and thought I was ready to try Las Vegas. “In Vegas, there are some fair games. Pretty tough, but worth your while if you can hold a few hands. You gotta pay your dues on the road and, Doyle, I think you’ve paid yours.” I didn’t heed Carl’s advice for a couple years and then I found his words to be correct. Vegas was tough and it broke me a couple times before I got the hang of it and then never looked back.
Instant stardom
Today, I see young players take fortunes to the big tables, reaching for instant stardom on their first poker excursions, only to fall flat. Soon their dreams fail and are forgotten. And you never see them again. I wonder how many of those players might have succeeded had they walked up the ladder cautiously, learning comfortably at easier and smaller games, rather than racing to the unfamiliar top rung and loosing their balance.
What I call “road games” might not actually be distant games, as they were for me in Texas. Maybe you can find the equivalent of your road games on the Internet or at your friend Fred’s house on Friday night. Wherever you find it, take advantage of the training ground.
Poker is no different from other worthwhile endeavors. Short-term luck abounds in poker and it creates the illusion that anyone can win. It’s an illusion that makes some folks believe they can start at the top. They can’t.
In Carl’s words, “You gotta pay your dues on the road.”
-- Doyle Brunson
Reprinted with permission from Doyle’s Room •
About Doyle’s Room: DoylesRoom.com is an online poker room operated by DBPN (Doyle Brunson Poker Network), a company incorporated and licensed in Curacao, Netherlands Antilles. DoylesRoom.com is the only site endorsed by Doyle Brunson, the 10-time World Series of Poker champion and the King of Poker.
Powered by Microgaming, DoylesRoom.com offers a number of poker card game options that include Texas Hold’Em, 7-card stud, and Omaha and also offers a variety of casino games such as Blackjack, Roulette, Slots, and more.
**DoylesRoom.com does not currently accept US-based players.
Written by
Batman
at
10:33 PM
0
comments
Saturday, September 8, 2007
More Poker Education
Accepting a gift
“Don’t accept a gift in the big blind in hold ’em,” Kelly told me years ago.
He was wrong.
In hold ’em there are no antes. Without antes or something to replace them, there’s nothing to fight over, and if you’re against wise opponents who are playing perfectly, you should sit hand after hand, badly bored and mumbling mantras about your cattle farm. Finally one hand you’ll find a pair of aces. Logically, only then can you play, because you can defend aces against other intelligent players with equally perfect patience. Against such players, you shouldn’t even start with the second-best hand – a pair of kings. The only time you’d get action would be against a pair of aces and you’d be a decided underdog. All other times, you’d win an empty pot and gain nothing.
That’s why the ante was invented: to give poker players a motive for war. Human nature being as it is, I believe that most players would find reasons to play inferior hands sometimes, even without incentive. They lack patience. But, poker would be a pretty pitiful game without something in the pot to fight over. Well, in hold ’em there isn’t an ante. So what motivates players to enter pots?
Not optional
It’s the blind bets, .There are two of them in the seats to the dealer’s left, a small one and a big one, usually twice as large. You must make these bets before seeing any cards. They aren’t optional.
In most hands, there’s going to be a raise before the action gets back to the big blind player. Whether to call or not will be a matter of judgment. But there’s a time when players, like Kelly, often misjudge. And that’s on those occasions when there’s no raise at all. If opponents just call the big blind, there’s a special rule in hold ’em that can get you in all manner of trouble. Normally in poker, if you’re just called, then the betting ends. You move along. But in hold ’em if the player in the big blind isn’t raised, there’s a peculiar option. That player – who’s been merely called – can continue the wagering by doing the raising himself. It’s called the “live blind” rule.
Free gift
My lesson today is that you should usually treat this situation as a gift when you’re in the big blind. You’re about to see the flop that happens next for free. Yes, it’s sometimes tempting to raise your opponents right out of their chairs, and that sort of aggression is in my nature. But usually, I decline. I accept the gift and see what happens at no cost.
It’s often bad to try to bully the game when you’re in the big blind with the opportunity to see a free flop, because on all following betting rounds, you’re going to act first (unless it was the small blind who called you). That’s a big positional disadvantage, making it harder for you to take charge. Another caution is that players who just call are frequently laying traps. They’re hoping you’ll raise.
Put it all together and you’ll fare better ignoring Kelly’s advice and following mine. Unless you have a powerful hand in the big blind, whenever you’re merely called, think, “Thanks for the present, buddy,” unwrap the flop, and see how you like it.
--Doyle Brunson
Reprinted with permission from Doyle’s Room.
About Doyle’s Room: DoylesRoom.com is an online poker room operated by DBPN (Doyle Brunson Poker Network), a company incorporated and licensed in Curacao, Netherlands Antilles. DoylesRoom.com is the only site endorsed by Doyle Brunson, the 10-time World Series of Poker champion and the King of Poker.
Powered by Microgaming, DoylesRoom.com offers a number of poker card game options that include Texas Hold’Em, 7-card stud, and Omaha and also offers a variety of casino games such as Blackjack, Roulette, Slots, and more.
**DoylesRoom.com does not currently accept US-based players.
Written by
Batman
at
1:36 PM
0
comments
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Poker Education
Don’t take your troubles to the table
When you’re emotionally upset, you just can’t play poker the right way, the profitable way. I used to back players I believed in. One was a kid named Craig who impressed me with his discipline. I mean, he was just unshakable, never getting out of line. He would siphon off the money from the table so methodically that it became a fearsome thing to watch.
But nothing will derail your poker train as fast as problems at home. Business problems, romance problems, it’s all the same. And all that stuff needs to be packed away and left at home. At times when a man’s heart is heavy or he has too much on his mind, there’s a danger that his bankroll will die. Craig’s died. Suddenly.
We used to call him “Super Rock.” Now, in poker terminology, a rock is a name for a player who plays very conservatively, reluctant to risk his money on anything other than big hands. Well, if you looked in the dictionary under “rock,” you’d probably find Craig’s picture. He was simply one of the most solid, sensible players who’ve ever played the game. You had to admire him. .
Self-destruction
I believed in him so much that I sometimes took pieces of his action when he played in big games. Not tonight, fortunately. This was about to become the worst case of self-destruction I’d ever seen. You see, Craig was also a ladies’ man. So, there he sat in at big-limit seven-stud table, playing his usual fine game. He was totally in control, a picture of decorum and concentration.
Then storms in this young woman, eyes fiery, clearly in a rage. She hurls her key’s right into his pot, interrupting his raise, yelling, “Keep these! I don’t want them anymore!” She also called him a few choice names.
At first, Craig seemed to act as if it didn’t matter. He kept his cool. But the anger must have been smoldering within him, because pretty soon he started to play poorly, erratically. In a display of something I’d never suspected was part of his personality, he’d throw cards, curse, lose his concentration. His hand selection deteriorated so badly that he became a “live one.” And every time he lost a pot, he’d say, “Stupid broad!” He lost the money in front of him. Bought more. Again. Again.
So silly
I’d watched Craig accumulate his bankroll over a year of hard work playing poker. And I watched him lose it all in five hours.
Just as he was leaving the table, broke and miserable, his girlfriend returned. She looked cool, composed, and loving. “This is so silly,” she told him. And she apologized and hugged him adoringly.
Craig rose from the table, beaten and trembling. She wanted to know how he’d fared, and I still remember how peculiar his words sounded. “I lost a little,” he said.
“You shouldn’t play when you’re upset,” she admonished him. Watching them walk away together, I had the dark feeling that I’d never see Craig again. And I didn’t.
But it’s the memory of that sad scene that punctuates my advice to poker players today. It’s pretty much the same advice that Craig’s girlfriend gave: “Don’t play poker when you’re upset.”
-- Doyle Brunson
Reprinted with permission from Doyle’s Room •
About Doyle’s Room: DoylesRoom.com is an online poker room operated by DBPN (Doyle Brunson Poker Network), a company incorporated and licensed in Curacao, Netherlands Antilles. DoylesRoom.com is the only site endorsed by Doyle Brunson, the 10-time World Series of Poker champion and the King of Poker.
Powered by Microgaming, DoylesRoom.com offers a number of poker card game options that include Texas Hold’em, 7-card stud, and Omaha and also offers a variety of casino games such as Blackjack, Roulette, Slots, and more.
**DoylesRoom.com does not currently accept US-based players.
Written by
Batman
at
2:16 PM
0
comments
